Catchin’ Up…

Yikes, where to begin? Is it really already Wednesday? Have you all given up hope that we would even do a real check-in this week? I haven’t even had a chance to tell you all about our fun weekend and we are almost to the next weekend already.

Things have been a bit hectic, largely in part to my project being due today. I did send it off at 2:30am this morning though, which is contributing to my fog-like state today. Factor in Addie’s untimely freak out between 2 and 3am this morning, and both girls staring me down at 6:30am this morning and it makes for one Mommy in need of some serious coffee. It is around 3pm now and I’ve been trying to get Addie to curl up on the sofa with me for a few zzzz’s – but it ain’t happening. So I may have to resort to that coffee after all.

J. left this morning – well, he is leaving this afternoon right after his interview for B-school! He is going in right now, so let’s all send some good thoughts his way in about 22 minutes. I am convinced that he doesn’t need them – but it can’t hurt, right? And then he is flying to SF for a conference for a few days. He has been traveling a lot and ALL of his girls miss him terribly, but he has definitely spoiled us when he is home.

So last weekend, we did the usual dance class and then we went to an Open House for Ad’s school that she’ll be going to in the fall. Did I ever mention that she got into the little preschool that I had originally tried to get Em into – the one like 2 blocks from our house? Well, yes – she did. So I will be walking both girls to school next year, I’m so very excited about that! In hindsight the school that Em is in now was exactly what she needed, and I think that Ad’s is going to be exactly what she needs. So it all worked out in the end.

The school is the sweetest place you have ever seen. I want to curl up in one of its many nooks and just hang out for the day. Her class is actually in an old Craftsman style house that is split down the middle to accommodate two classes. So it is kind of a long hallway with little not quite “rooms” off of the main pathway. Each little “room” is an amazing little space – a reading corner, a building corner, an art corner, a make-believe corner, a dress-up corner. It is so very cozy and we got to meet her teachers, too. I am certain she is going to love it there.

So we had some excitement on Saturday, and I felt like I was not fully concentrated on the girls last week, so I took them to one of our favorite parks on Saturday afternoon.

The first thing Addie does when she gets to the park? Take off her shoes…my little hillbilly child.

The first thing Em does? Head to the monkey bars…she is going to master it before the summer is over, I think.

Which brings us to Sunday. Glorious Sunday.

I slept in til 8:30am…in the morning! Yes, you heard correctly my friends, I got a sleep-in and pleasantly awoke to breakfast in bed, which was amazing.

Momma didn’t cook, clean, do laundry, unload the dishwasher…she really didn’t do ANYTHING all day long. We shopped a little, had a yummy dinner AND ice cream for dessert and just hung around enjoying the day. It really was lovely. My camera even came out of hiding for the occasion.

A few of the girls while we were playing in the yard…

And to top it off, J. and the girls got me this amazing necklace. When we were in Hawaii I was really tempted to get a silver turtle necklace – they are everywhere and so cool – but I never did. J. found one with not only a turtle, but a Mommy turtle with 2 little tiny baby turtles. How sweet and completely appropriate is that?

So I must say I felt very spoiled and loved, and it was a great way to kick off the week.

I didn’t even need to make a wish in the fountain after dinner, although Addie did….

Not too much to wish for when you have these two little monkeys around.

A little apology…

To my sweetum girls –

I had clearly forgotten how much pain is associated with a simple earache.

Owwww…

Not that I ever told you to “buck up” or “you’ll be ok” because I kinda figured ear infections weren’t exactly a picnic – but now? I get it.

All I want to do is stand around whining and crying, too (and I probably would if it didn’t hurt so much to even talk).

Also, remind me that those gross, homeopathic earache drops that I try to foist on you to make your ear “feel better” – they just make matters worse. I still have pain, possibly more, plus I feel like I’m under water and can’t hear out of one ear, and add to that a constantly “drippy” ear. Ick.

So I’m sorry. Now I know. Not that it gives you free rein to whine and scream all night, but I promise to be a bit more understanding next time.

Love you,
Mama

Mountain Road ~ Best Shot Monday

I have some Easter shots to get up still, but this is one of my favorite photos of the weekend.

I took this after our egg hunt on Saturday, as the girls ran up the mountain road ahead to explore on their own. Watching them together like that stirs up all kinds of emotions in me. On one hand my heart breaks as they leave me behind, ready to be free, and off to do their own thing. I am also proud that they are such confident, secure girls that they know I am here, always watching and waiting for them to need me again. But mostly seeing the two of them makes me excited for all of the fun adventures they are going to find together someday.

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Check out Tracey’s today to see what emotions others are stirring up.

And then the wave comes crashing down…

Last night was not one of my finer parenting moments.

It was hitting-rock-bottom awful, in fact. I think it has been brewing for the past few months. I can see myself losing patience much more easily not only with the girls, but just in general. I feel frustrated most of the time and just a little bit out of control. And I have noticed the effect it is having on Em, especially. Her “stern” rants when she is frustrated, her attitude-riddled comments with me, when she yells at her sister – all of it I know she is picking up from me.

So last night.

Have you ever had an experience where you feel like you are outside of your body just watching an event unfold? I felt like that last night. And I was horrified of the monster mom I saw – impatient, yelling, acting like…well, like a 3-year old. After I managed to get the girls into bed, I just went downstairs and wept. I was so upset at myself for handling everything so wrong.

I remembered all my promised whispers when they were born – I can’t imagine ever doing anything to hurt you. I will always love you. I will always take care of you. I will never yell at you or make you feel that you are inconsequential.

I would love to blame being tired, stressed-out, home with the girls by ourselves again, but I can’t. I just completely lost control and failed especially on my last “promise.”. Clearly the book I’m reading (Buddhism for Mothers: A calm approach to caring for yourself and your children) is not working, or I haven’t yet reached the part where I can turn the theories into practicalities.

Thankfully, children wake up each morning only remembering the things they want to remember. They forget and forgive so easily. And since I am the only mother they have ever known, they don’t have a lot to compare it to. This morning they bounded down the stairs, laughing, their little bodies full of energy, ready for a brand-new day.

And, I greeted them with the same enthusiasm and showered love on them as I proposed a little “pact” between all of us. I apologized for being an ogre last night and told them how very sad it made me to be so mean. I also vowed to them that I was going to try much harder to not raise my voice, and then we came up sit a funny signal. Whenever anyone in our house starts to yell, or get angry we are going to give them the “signal.” And give that person an opportunity to settle down and compose themselves.

Em, of course, is a huge cheerleader in the whole experiment. After we had our talk this morning, I had asked Em to do something and she did her little aggravated, “ughhhhh.” I looked at her and said, “Emma Grace…” and she broke out in this huge grin and said, “Hey, Mom! You were supposed to give me our signal!”

The rest of the morning and beginning of the afternoon was beautiful. Like last night never happened. I had obedient, calm girls sharing and being very loving to one another – and me. I felt mindful and focused on them, and found our morning to be so much more enjoyable. I felt like the calm Mommy I want to be. The calm Mommy these two sweet girls deserve.

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I’ll keep you updated on our journey. I feel like we hit the crest of a very big wave last night. Hopefully we are sailing into some calmer seas ahead.

Change(s) ~ Theme Thursday

As I tried to figure out what photo to use/shoot for this week’s Theme Thursday, which is change, all I kept thinking of (and singing) was that David Bowie song, Cha-Cha-Changes. I had to go find it on YouTube…man, that is a really good song!

Anyhow, that song didn’t really inspire any great ideas, but as I was getting ready to scrap tonight I (ahem…) changed my calendar to March. (Oh, don’t give me that! Like you have never made it nearly halfway into a month before realizing you haven’t changed the calendar? What? Oh. You never have? Well, then…you clearly have too much time on your hands.) In my defense, I have a huge whiteboard calendar that has been updated and used all month, it was just the girls’ calendar that hadn’t been switched over.

Anyhow, (again) I could not get over the change in the girls from last year to this year. So then I started going through all of the girls’ baby photos. (That is a great way to kill time, but I’m a bit misty-eyed over here. They were soooo tiny! Sooo sweet!)

So check out the changes in our house in the past five years! –

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Go catch some other Change over at Stacy’s today!

Sometimes you just have to do it yourself.

Hey! This is Emma.

Well, and Addie, too – but mostly me, because she is my “baby sis” and is not nearly as talented as I am in the talking, typing or storytelling arenas, but I will help her when it is her turn.

First off, we really need to apologize for our obvious slacker Mom lately. She is running around like the crazy rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, exclaiming, “I’m late! I’m late!,” and she is really preoccupied with something, or a few somethings, and she clearly does not understand how important it is to keep her bloggy friends happy. She just keep throwing up a photo here, or a few photos there, and hoping that our sweetness will tide you all over.

*sigh*

Mothers…can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em.

Anyhow, about a thousand days ago, our friend Zoe tagged us for a fun little meme. I kept asking Mommy when we could do it and kept getting, “um…how about later.” Story of my life. So, Ad and I are just going to do it now.

The rules:
-Each player makes a list of eight random facts/habits about themselves.
-At the end of your list, choose eight people to tag and list their names. (We probably won’t play by this rule, though).

So, since I am the big sister, and running the show around here, I figure I will go first.

Emma’s Eight:
1. I love school. I tell Mom every single day how I can’t wait to be 5, so I can go to the kindergarten classroom. There I get to go to school – ALL day long. Every day. I’m really excited about that. And I get my own lunch box!

2. There is this boy, Henry, he is at my school and I think he is very cute. My friend Ella and I are always chasing him at recess and I told Mom the other day that I was going to marry Henry when we grow up. Mom said that I was ONLY 4 YEARS OLD (yes, she said it loud like that) and that I should just be friends with Henry, but not worry about boyfriends and getting married and stuff like that. I told her, “I’m almost 5!” Her head just dropped forward and she shook it back and forth, I’m not sure what that means, but she does it a lot lately.

3. I am going to be 5 on April 9th, in case you didn’t know. I like to tell everyone that. I think that maybe I will have a Strawberry Shortcake birthday party. Mom just laughs because Aunt Meesh used to have a bedroom with Strawberry Shortcake all over the wallpaper. I guess everyone likes Strawberry Shortcake.

4. When I’m not in school, or planning my birthday party, I really do like to play with my “baby sis.” That is what I call her, and it also always makes Mom laugh. We have been known to give Mommy close to an hour of peace at one time, while we play Polly Pockets and dollhouses. Sometimes I think Mom doesn’t believe that we are just playing because she will come in and ask, “What are you doing?” “Why are you so quiet in here?”

5. I am working hard on my ballet dancing. I started a new class that my friends Ella and Kate are in. It is on Saturday with Miss Caroline and we are learning A LOT! Miss Caroline told Mommy that she has not seen feet like mine in a long time! Mommy says she is not sure, but she thinks it is a good thing. Apparently my long, skinny feet are good for ballet dancers. I really want to be Clara in the Nutcracker some day.

6. I also like playing baseball with Daddy. I conned Davin into playing with me for hours when he was here a few weeks ago. But I keep telling Mommy that I really want to play soccer. Mommy says this summer, after I am 5, I get to start playing. Which is good, because every time we go to the Grove and I throw pennies into the fountain and I wish to play soccer. Now I won’t have to waste all of those wishes!

7. My current favorite person is Sharpay from High School Musical. I used to only want to wear skirts and dresses, but Nena and Mommy found me some “Sharpay jeans” they are sparkly and very cool, so I have branched out and am now including some new stuff into my wardrobe. But it must sparkle. And it must be fabulous!

8. I know the plot to every Tom & Jerry cartoon. It is my favorite cartoon. Daddy and I like to watch them together. He has also been showing me the Three Stooges. Much to Mommy’s chagrin.

Addie’s Eight:
1. Well, I’m 2. So that pretty much explains what it is like around here. One minute I’m laughing and having a great day, the next minute I am having a supreme meltdown because my sock is not on my foot the right way. It is kind of a game now – I just do it to keep Mom on her toes.

2. After my “debut” at the dance recital last month, I am taking a little break from dance. Although every time Mommy puts tights on me, I ask her “Am going to dance class?” But I don’t think I really want to go.

3. My obsession for Cinderella has been transferred to Ariel. I love the Ariel song, I want to watch Ariel every single day. Sometimes I will sit at the table and comb my hair with a fork, or “dinglehopper” like Ariel does while I sing, “Aaaaaah, aaaahhh.” Mommy is trying to get it on video, but I’m smarter than her. I know when she is trying to trick me and I know exactly when to stop.

4. The two words that I say (and use correctly) that cracks Mommy up lately. “Pobabaly” (probably) and ack-tu-ally (actually). “Um, Mommy – ack-tu-ally, I want juice instead of milk – but I pobabaly will have to have some goldfish with my juice. Yes?”

5. I think my big sister is great. She is my favorite person. When she is somewhere and I need her I will yell at the top of my little lungs, “Emma Gwacie Girl Boris! Where arrre you?!” Most of the time we have a very fun time. But I do know that by screaming very loud when Emma isn’t sharing with me, it will make Mommy come running. Another fun game I like to play.

6. As much as I love Emma, I really love my afternoons with Mommy when Em is at school. We usually don’t do anything exciting, but Mommy says I’m a totally different kid when I am without Em. I sure do like it when all of Mommy’s attention is on me.

7. My favorite place to go and just hang out is the “puppy kitty store” (PetSmart). We always start in the fish and wander past the birds, but then I get antsy and can’t wait to get to the back of the store where the puppies are! There is a doggy daycare where all of the puppies go and run around and I love to watch them. And then I have to go visit the kitties, too. And I love our kitties. The other day I picked Smokey up and carried her around for a little bit. I think she really liked it!

8. I am the world’s slowest eater. Or maybe this is just another game to drive Mommy crazy? The only way to get me to eat a full meal in a timely fashion is to make sure you are serving “noonels” (noodles) or broccoli. It is a sure way to make sure I will wipe my plate clean.

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So there you have it. A little bit of funny stuff and happenings that Mom has been to busy to write about. I think that all of our bloggy friends have already done this? If you haven’t and want to – just leave us a comment and let us know you did it!

Now we have to go find Mommy. It is a fun little game we play sometimes. Mommy has to go to the bathroom or take a shower, and we go throw open the bathroom door. “MOOOM? Hey, MOM! You in here? Found you! Now it is our turn to go hide…”

Thankful ~ Day 8

Today I am thankful for the age, the stage, that both of the girls are at right now. Not that I ever want to be “free” of them, (I’m actually hoping they never want to leave their Daddy and I!) but I have a new-found freedom that just feels so amazing.

The girls beg me to “leave” them at the Gym’s Kid’s Klub. They practically push me out the door, the minute Denise shows up for the afternoon. They color sweetly at their table in the playroom for 20 minutes at a time.

Yes, a tiny piece of me is sad when I look at their baby pictures, they are so not babies anymore. And I do feel a little bit slighted some days when Mommy is pushed away. But, can I begin to tell you how heavenly it is to be able to “let them play” in the playroom while I grab a shower, throw in a load of laundry, and start the dishwasher. Yeah, yeah, yeah – apparently I shouldn’t leave Emma in the playroom with her safety scissors. But, honestly, isn’t a few cut bangs a small price to pay for getting a little break in the non-stop demand for entertainment?

I think so.

And they play so well together. Well, most of the time. I so love to watch them laugh and play together. That is why I was so happy to have two girls. Sisters. They will always have a best friend, no matter what.

When I do get included in their little “bond,” I’ve found that we seem to have finally found our groove. I know it has taken us over two years, but I think we are finally there. We all seem to know what our role is in our little family, and how to make it all work smoothly.

As we get ready to board the plane for Michigan this week, I am actually looking forward to traveling with the girls. We have reached that point where we are all in “sync.” Flying down the same path. We know how to handle the bumps and we are on our way to reaching so many new destinations.

For that I am thankful.

These Crocs were made for walkin’…

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A. is obsessed with shoes. The shoes-of-the-week are these orange crocs that E. wore all last year. They are at least 2 sizes too big, but she clearly does not care and refuses to take them off.

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She is a girl on a mission. Such fierce determination.

Meanwhile, this is Em’s shoe of choice…

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Nakey toes! She wants to take her shoes off at the park all the time that I have to play “bad Mommy” and make her put her shoes back on.

And here is a photo of Em, just because. Just because I love it and think it is so beautiful. I’m not sure why I love it so – you can’t really even see her face, but just that top part of her head. That part that I love to kiss. It is so sweet.

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Happy Wednesday.