“So we only get monthly updates, now?” says my smart-mouthed husband as he pulls up the blog on his huge web screen in the new car.
Apparently while he has been driving around all happy in the new Tesla, he hasn’t noticed the higher than normal level of chaos here on the homefront. Although it was not intentional, it looks like I have barely been able to get a semi-monthly update in around here lately.
But, as always, I am just full of great excuses! And most of them point to my clear inability to “just say no.” No, I’m already at my limit. No, I don’t think that would be great for our schedule right now. No, no, NO. I might have reached my breaking point this week, though. I am having a really hard time juggling everything and making it all look so easy. When I spaced on sending in paperwork for Em that allowed her to continue her GATE classes last week, and then had to tell her that we might not make the cut…well, that pretty much broke the dam right there. I hate that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach where I feel like I’m doing too many things, but not doing any of them very well. And I really hated that look from Em where her mouth was saying, “it’s ok, Mom” but her face was saying the exact opposite, how terribly disappointed she was.
Thankfully they let her slide into the class and all was ok, but I cannot keep up this pace or this feeling that all of life is spiraling out of control. When I accepted the part-time job a few weeks ago, I thought “How perfect! Great hours – I’m still home when the girls are. I still have Mondays and Fridays off. This is going to work out so perfectly.”
Right. So the only thing that didn’t work into my plan was…I added 20+ hours to my week, but didn’t take anything away. I am still doing all the stuff I used to, and another job on top of it. That right there, my friends? That math doesn’t quite add up.
So this week, I’m working on getting my workouts and eating back on track. Getting in control. I’m planning meals so I’m not walking in the door at 4pm without a clue what we are doing for dinner. I’m setting up a better cleaning and laundry schedule so I just don’t feel so far behind. Getting in control. And possibly, just maybe, taking some new photos of my girls, taking a deep breath, and visiting my happy place here to post more frequent updates.
Because I’m sure you’d love to hear about Addie’s fun Disneyland birthday scavenger hunt, right? (Yeah, me too.)