Addison: “No more dead animals.”

As we are walking through the grocery store the other night, looking for something to put on our newly fixed grill, Addie spied a package of chicken legs…

A: “Ew. Mama? I don’t wanna eat no more dead animals.”

She has a friend who is a vegetarian and I’ve tried “no meat” for a time or two, so I wasn’t totally surprised and wasn’t stressed out about it.

M: “Hmmm…ok. Well, what would you like to eat? Can we put some vegetables on the grill for you?”
A:  “Mmmm…let’s have steak!”


No. I didn’t tell her where steak comes from. She’ll figure it out soon enough.

Friday Funny Stuff ~ Addie Style

I won’t even bore you with all of the crushing details of our incredibly insane life right now. Just the fact that I’m couldn’t even manage a bullet-list T&T Thursday this week can probably give you an idea of the mayhem around here.

But there is one conversation Addie and I had today that I decided I must sit down and document because it is just too, too good! So I decided it has been too long since we have done a Friday Funny Stuff entry – and here is one for you…


We were on our way somewhere today and Ads had brought both Cookie (the ratty, filthy-even-though-I-wash-him-at-least-weekly, orange cat that she has taken to dragging around with her) and Bear. I had to wrap them both up in blankets because “my babies are going to be so chilly, Mommy!” and finally got the three of them to the car. Then Addie had to buckle Bear into Emma’s seat and Cookie got stuffed into the pocket behind the driver’s seat.

A: “You have to buckle all your babies up, don’t you Mama?”
M: “Yep. So they can be safe.”
A: “Babies need lots of good food, protein, and eight cups of water to grow, don’t they?”
M: “Yep, but I know something else they need…”
A: “Sleep?”
M: “Yes, well that, too. But something else.”
A: “I dunno, what?”
M: “LOVE! They need hugs and kisses. Don’t you need love from your Mommy and Daddy to grow?”
A: “I guess so. That is a lot of stuff. It is hard to be a Mommy all the time.”
M: “Amen. It is hard work to get your babies to grow up strong and healthy.”
A: “I think it is too hard. I think I will just stay a kid. All babies should stay kids so they don’t have to work so hard.”

If only it were that easy…

A Hot Game of Zingo ~ Wordless Wednesday

Bingo with a Zingo

Okay, I just can’t let this one go Wordless.

I mean look at Puppy Dog Alarm Clock’s sad and forlorn eyes. He wants to just smack that smug smile off of Care Bear’s face. Dumb bear, all uppity and gloating because it is winning.

Like this photo, from a few months ago, this pic just makes me laugh out loud. It also reminds me that the girls are at such an amazing stage. They spend hours together and come up with the most involved and creative play, it is really something special to watch.

This game – Zingo – is their favorite board game to play right now. Addie got it from my friend Kimmer and she just adores it! It is a great game for 3-4 year olds. And truth be told, it is one of my favorites to play with them, too. It is a refreshing change from Candyland, and I like that Addie has just as good a chance to win as anyone. So it is fair and fun!

My favorite thing they play though is “Mommy/Honey.” (Yes, that is what they call it.) Usually Addie is the “mommy” and Em is the “honey (little girl)” and they just play “house” for hours. I really need to video/tape some of the conversations they have, because they are wet-your-pants funny. And the funniest part is that Ad sounds EXACTLY like me in some of the things she says.

Well, most of the time it is funny.

All I want for Christmas….

Ah, as I was typing that title, I realized that I haven’t uploaded either of the girls’ Christmas program videos yet.

Sigh….Must. Do. That.

And in case you are wondering how my stream of consciousness writing got me from that to this – Emma’s class sang “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.”  Ahhh, see? I haven’t completely lost my mind. Yet.

Anywho…J. asked me what I wanted for Christmas a few weeks ago and I told him I really just wanted to go back to Michigan to see my sister and family. Let the girls soak up some cousin love for a bit, they are clearly in need of a little.

So, my Christmas present is indeed plane tickets, we leave the day after Christmas. So we get to have three different Christmases – a week of Christmases! That is a great gift if you ask me.

Last night we were making our lists (and checking it twice, ha!) of things I needed to get today and I was looking over J.’s shoulder at his very logical, engineer-like spreadsheet of gift giving. I mean, it is color-coded, I kid you not!

J: Hey! You aren’t supposed to look at this, I have presents for you on it.
C: You already got me my present. The plane tickets so I could see my sister that was supposed to be my gift.
J: Maybe I got you something else, like glasses. So you could see your sister. Or binoculars…or a telescope! You could see her with that!

Ha. Ha. Ha. HiLARious! See what I’ve got to work with here?

Kids Say Some Funny Stuff ~ Bathroom Edition

This Friday’s edition of funny stuff is brought to you by none other than little Miss Addison, and it is filled with good ‘ol bathroom humor. I will never understand why kids think “poop” and all things bathroom related are funny, but anyhow…

A: Mama! I went potty, can you help me put my dress back on? (Yes, we are still with the “naked thing” when she goes potty.)
M: Yep. Come here.
A: I went #1 AND #2, and #3!

(Jamie’s contribution to their education while I was away on my weekend = what “#1″ and “#2″ mean. I can just see him standing outside of the public girl’s bathroom trying to explain that one.)

M: Um…ok. What is #3?
(Emma is cracking up and then Addie starts in and they can barely explain #3 to me.)
A: Emma and I says that #3 is when you have to go – Whew! That is stinky – CLOSE THE DOOR, stinky!

Uh huh. So #3 has been introduced into the household and it is in heavy rotation. Because you know, it is just so, so funny!


And this morning Addie was helping me in the bathroom and I asked her to get me a new roll of toilet paper. She opened up this tiny little drawer that we never use but I could hear something rolling around in there.

A: Oh! Toilet paper can’t fit in that drawer, Mama! (As she shuts the drawer)
M: No, but what is in there, Ad?
A: (Opens it back up and peers in) Just some big straws, Mama.
M: Straws? (Racking my brain to figure out how straws got into the bathroom.)

So I checked the drawer myself. They were not straws. They were…uh, feminine products. Definitely not straws. But I think I’m just going to let her think they are straws for a bit longer – I am so not ready for that conversation.

Cheeky monkey.
Addie & Bear's closeup

Out of the Mouth of My Babes

We have had a touch of the sassy molassys around the house lately. Mostly from one little three-year old girl who shall remain nameless.

She got sent to the steps for yelling “I don’t want that for dinner! I don’t LIKE red peppers!” (at the top of her lungs!) earlier this week.

When I went in to release her from timeout, we had this little conversation -

A: Mama! Mama! I DO like red peppers! Can I get off the step now?
M: I did not put you on the steps because you don’t like red peppers! I put you on the step for talking to Mama like that.
A: Oh. Ok. Can I get off the step now?
M: What do you say to me?
A: I love you, Mama? (Oooh, the girl is good.)
M: Noooo, you need to look at me in the eyes and apologize.
A: (Silence. Chirp, chirp. But a few tears welling up in the corners of her eyes)
M: You say, ‘I’m sorry for talking to you like that Mama.
A: I’m sorry for talking like that to you Mama.
M: I do not ever want to hear you talk to me like that again, got it?
A: (In all seriousness) I do not ever want to hear you talk to me like that again, got it?

Emma is cracking up in the living room, and yes, it was hard to maintain a “mad” look after that little stunt.

Cheeky monkey.

I’m a big girl now.

Last week I was reading the Sunday paper…um, ok. So really my version of reading the paper = I just scan the front page, maybe the Image or Home section, and then move onto the real reason for the Sunday newspaper, the ads.

Anyway, I was looking through the Target ad (really the only ad that matters) and suddenly it struck me and I blurted out, “Hey! Do you realize we never have to buy diapers or pull-ups ever again!”

J. looked up from his paper (he was more than likely reading the “real news” or at least the Sports or Travel section) a little surprised at my outburst. “Um. Yeah. I hope not, at least.”

Clearly not as excited about my revelation as I was. But Addie has been full-on in big girl panties at night for well over a month with not one accident. I’m beyond proud of her! She decided that one night that she was a “big girl, not a baby, Mama!” and we have not looked back since. I’ve said it before (and I’ll say it again because it bears repeating) the “magic” in potty training is just being patient until the kid is ready. Because anything up to that point is just wasted energy.

I actually had planned on putting a pull-up on Addie while we were on our cruise because I figured she’d be tired, in a strange bed, and hadn’t been doing the underwear at night thing for very long before we left, and I didn’t want her to have an accident. But…I forgot to pack them. So, by default we slept in underwear the whole week and didn’t have a single problem.

The night we got back into town, we had been at the airport/traveling for well over 12 hours that day and she had fallen asleep. J. carried her upstairs and put her on her bed and I wrestled her out of her clothing, trying not to wake her up, to put jammies on her. (She had been playing in the airport and plane all day and um…ewww. ) I figured she had had a lot to drink, but hadn’t hit the bathroom, on top of that she was extremely tired all of which could potentially be a recipe for disaster.

So I tried to put a pull-up on her but as soon as I got one leg in, she sat straight up, wide awake and exclaimed, “NO, Mama! No diapers! I need my big girl wears!”

I tried to explain to her that I thought she might have an accident because she hadn’t gone to the potty. She slid off the bed and marched into the bathroom saying the whole way, “NO I won’t. I need my big girl underwear!”

Finally Mama got it through her thick head, we are not going back from where we came. We are done with any thing that has to do with diapers.

Of course, that doesn’t mean we are completely problem-free. We had a little funny incident while on our picnic yesterday:

A: “Mama! My underwears gottasome problem!”
E: “Oh, I think she has a ‘bushie,’ Mama.”
M: “A what??”
E: “A ‘bushie!’ When your underwear goes up your bottom kinda?”
M: “A wedgie?”
E: (Peals of laughter) “Yeah! What did I call it?” (More laughing…)

Yeah. I think a “bushie” is something entirely different.

Always with the tongue...

Kids Say The Darndest Things ~ Friday Edition

My friend Christina has started a little Friday fun by jotting down the funny things her cutie little girl has said over the week, and since I’m all about themes, and topical days (it gets me out of a jam when I don’t have time to find real stuff to write about!) I thought I’d join in today.

I’ve been saving a couple funny things Em and Ad have been saying and I really want to get them down somewhere so I don’t forget them.

So here goes – my funny Valentines…


Addie’s funny words and phrases:

ahind = behind, as in “Mama! Look ahind you! There is a puppy!”
yook = look, as in “Yook at me, Mama!” Must also grab my chin and turn my head towards her when saying this.
musbash = mustache, as in “Do I have a musbash, Mama?” Said every time she takes a drink of something, not always a milk mustache, either.


Emma’s funny phrases:

knick-knack name = nickname, as in “What is your knick-knack name, Daddy?”

And, the other day she asked me – “Mama? Is Addie pushing your buttons right now?!”


And a couple of funny stories from Addie and my “day out” together the other day:

Addie: “Mama? Can we go to the puppy/kitty store (what she calls PetSmart)?”
Me: “Sure. I have one more errand to run, and then we will stop, ok?”
Addie: (sighs) “Ah, Mommy. Do you know how happy that makes Addie?”

(I tell them all the time when they do something *nice* – “Do you know how happy that makes Mommy?” but it sounds very funny coming back at me!)

And one more…

We were going into a bathroom at a store and an older gentleman was coming out and held the door open for A. and I. Then, later when we were leaving the store, he happened to be leaving as well and again, he held the door for A. and I.

Me: “Thank you so much! We are just going to follow you around all day so we can have the doors held for us.”
Man: (chuckles) “No problem. I’m just doing my duty.”

So A. and I continue down the street and all of a sudden she starts giggling…

Ad: “Mama…he said It’s my DOODY!”
Me: (kinda clueless at the moment) “Yes, it means like a chore or a job.”

And then I see her face and she is snickering at the word, because she thinks the man was referring to poop.

Where on God’s-Green-Earth does that girl come up with this stuff? Never in my life have I ever used the word, “doody!

My girls seem to have missed the memo that says that only boys laugh at bathroom humor.

The real reason for our 3-day weekend…

After I picked Em up from school yesterday we discussed why she didn’t get to go to school on Monday.

E: Mama. You know why we don’t get to go to school Monday?
M: Um…why?
E: Well…

(I love that she starts all her “explanations” with a ‘well..’ – J. says she gets it from me. Well…I don’t know about that, but I do love it.)

E: ...There was this man who was a king. And there were bad people who were not nice. So the King told them that it didn’t matter what people look like or if they are different. We have to all just get along.
M: Mmmm hmmm.
E: And some people look different, like Denise. She has brown skin, but we have light skin. But we love her and she is like us, right Mama?
M: Yep. That’s right. I think it is just important to remember that everyone is different and that is what makes us all special, but we need to treat everyone how we want to be treated.
E: That is the big rule, right?
M: Yes, it is called the Golden Rule. Did you learn this today in school?
E: Yes. I’m just so sad I can’t go to school.
M: Well it is a holiday and on holidays schools, banks and some businesses are closed. But, Gracie, the man wasn’t a king…
E: Mom! Yes! He was a king!
M: His name was Martin Luther King, but he was not a king like you think of a king. It is his birthday, so we celebrate that.
E: Oh. Well…Happy Birthday, King!

We all just have to “get along.” So simple, huh?

Straight talk with Emma

E: Mama?
M: Yes…
E: Are you glad you don’t have to go to school any more?
M: Well, sometimes I miss going to classes, I like to learn new stuff.
E: I’m glad you aren’t in school any more!
M: Why is that?
E: Because now you can be our Mommy!
M: I could be your Mommy and still take classes or be in school.
E: Noooo…you already learn-ed  how to be a Mommy. You don’t need any more school.

If only she knew. I know very little about “being a Mommy” and most of it I learn every single day through her.