Holy cow. I just had to make a new folder on our Flickr account and realized that April is here! What happened to March? I just opened up my calendar to see what the heck we did over the last month because it seems like it was nothing but a blur.  From the looks of things, I certainly wasn’t blogging. And I was told that there are far too few photos of the girls lately (as in…none!) So a few photos for Daddy…

And for when I need to remember, a little laundry list of “What we did over the last month” for Mommy…

ballet performances – piano lessons – sold girl scout cookies – PTA meetings – made the swim team – school-wide pottery project – finished a website or two – swim practice – sold more cookies – played a little soccer – tried out for the variety show – little more piano – put in a bid on our house – ran the Pasadena triathlon – some more ballet -  shuttled a myriad of inspectors, contractors and bidders through the house – sold a few more cookies – had an offer accepted on our house (!) – brought Tiger to school for Addie – celebrated two friend’s birthdays – open houses for both girls – bundled up every bit of food in our house – enjoyed a little spring break – tented our house – scrubbed the “tenting” out of our house – and kissed March goodbye.

Whew. Yeah, it was quite a month when you put it all out there like that.

Here is to a “lamb” of an April.

And a few more pics for Daddy…

I fear that I have given you all the wrong idea about life here at Chaos. I am feeling a little bit guilty and really need to come clean.

It isn’t that I have been lying, but maybe I have  not been entirely truthful. As I was catching up on my email and blog reading this weekend I saw that my friend Christina, who is always telling me I lead such a “charmed life,” wrote, “I’m a much better mom when someone is watching.” Hmm…that really struck a chord with me. And then my friend Kimberly did an entire post about how much she chooses to put on her blog and what she leaves out. That kind of hit home, too.

When I started this blog it was for my family to follow along with our adventures while getting fed a steady stream of photos of the girls. It has since evolved into a baby book-like milestone documentation, a little jumble of craftiness,  and a whole lot of photos. But I still mostly think of it as a vehicle for when I will need a trip down memory lane after my birdies have left the nest. And I think that is why I subconsciously self-edit a lot of my posts. I want to remember all of the sweet, take-my-breath away moments. But when I look back through the archives, I realize it so isn’t the whole picture.

In fact, I’m probably giving you maybe 25% of the picture. So let me tell you the “rest of the story.”

The girls are not the angels they are usually depicted to be. They fight like all siblings do. They do not instinctively pick up after themselves. They throw fits when I suggest “why don’t you just wear the sweater that is right here.” They contradict me and have been called out on being “sassy” more times than I’d like to admit. Emma whines or does this baby talk thing and Addie “talks” in cat meows, both of which drive me to the brink of insanity.

Through it all, I try to be a patient. loving mom, that mom I want to be (or am when others are watching), but more often than not, I fail with a big, fat F. By the end of the day I just don’t have another ounce of patience. I yell. I am easily frustrated when I have to repeat myself and I’ve been known to just pretty much…give up. I get to the point where I “just-don’t-care-how-or-what-you-do-just-get-INTO-bed-NOW-before-I-get-up-to-your-room!” That old saying “when Momma’s unhappy, nobody’s happy” really rings true in our house most days in our house.

So why am I telling you all of this? I don’t know – I guess I don’t want you to think it is always rainbows and sunshine over here. I want to be able to vent occasionally and I do it best through writing, so I don’t want you to be totally surprised when I sit down and write an out-of-left-field rant. And I also want you to know the behind the scenes, I am like every other ordinary mom trying to raise kids that will be kids. I don’t have it all figured out, I’m just a pretty good actor.

In the end, it all comes down to – when I look back, I don’t want to remember the days that I am not the mom I want to be. I want to remember the amazing moments and feel like I really did enjoy the little things. So I won’t apologize anymore, but there will always be more “good day” posts than “bad day” ones. And lots of photos, too.

I know I am most likely in the minority today, but there are a few things I’m loving this very fine Monday morning:

• Those two girls. And the fact that that photo up there was completely unprompted. I just asked the girls if I could take some photos of them for Daddy for his birthday and I got this while they were messing around. I am convinced that Emma is the best big sister ever, and I think Addie might agree with me.
• No school today. It was a very busy month for us and we have been rewarded with a teacher in-service day on this here last day of January. The girls slept in and we are looking forward to a day of “catch-up” around the house and I get an extra day to finish this month’s newsletter and work on some client work.
• Our new sofa. It has plenty of room for all of us to stretch out and do our own thing.
• Streaming Netflix. The girls are obsessed with the old Munsters tv show and are watching them (while playing Barbies) right now on one end of the sofa.
• New soccer season. Although my aching hip and knee are reminders that I am not in nearly as good of shape as I think I am, it did feel so good to be back out running around on the soccer field again yesterday. And J. was an awesome goalie (not his usual position) so we won.
• My Nespresso coffee maker. My coffee habits have been transformed. I haven’t visited a Starbucks in weeks. And I honestly like the coffee I make at home even better than my old Starbucks standby. (Blasphemy, I know!) When I was little, I used to have milk with a splash of coffee on Saturday mornings watching cartoons with my Dad, and I think that is what influenced how I now like my coffee. I really like lattes – lots of milk, and my new coffee maker makes them fast and delicious. Mmmm. Yes. I think I may need another one while I sit here on the new sofa, working on that newsletter and watching my two loves play.

Our two little Ballet I students auditioned and have roles in the upcoming Twelve Dancing Princesses ballet – which means on Tuesdays they have a rehearsal and THEN…normal ballet class. So they dance a total of two hours afterschool.

THEN…Em meets up with her little fishy sister and they have a swim class.

And THEN…the two girls proceed to eat J. and I out of house and home.

Seriously. I have never seen my two children eat as much as they packed away today. I think I now understand how moms of teenage boys might feel. I found myself just shoving food at them to keep ahead of the curve and packing a snack for between afterschool snack and dinner.

I will say that while all of their activity eats away at our food budget, it more than makes up for it when they literally fall into bed and pass out. So, yes maybe it is worth it.

(Apologies for the phone pics – I did not have time to even grab my camera to haul it with me. So stinky phone photos it is.)

While J. is off doing important things you might be wondering what in the world the rest of us are doing. A friend commented that he had stopped and read the blog and liked “the calm it gave me to know we all deal with the same issues.”  All of which I found very funny since I haven’t posted a real post about any real issues in many (many, many) weeks. So what have we been up to?

Um…I don’t really exactly know. I mean how is it almost the end of January already? Last week I told J. that I felt like I needed a vacation and we hadn’t even been back to school for two full weeks. I think I’m just having a hard time navigating back into my groove.

So we did end up taking a mini-vacation over the weekend and went and spent the night at Disney. Again, I am very thankful that J. works for Disney, and that we live so close that we can make these relatively cheap, quick getaways. And I am also continually thankful that the girls love being together. My heart bursts every time Emma reaches out to hold Addie’s hand. It is one of my greatest wishes that they are always sweet, best friends.

The girls are all about swimming right now. Em tried out for the swim team and the coach told her she needs help on her breathing and some of her strokes so she suggested she join the dolphin lessons which run at the same time the team practices. And hopefully at the end of the month they will re-evaluate her and move her up to the team. It was actually perfect, I think. She is getting all kinds of practice and help and when I watch her swim laps in her swim cap, goggles and real suit, I get a little choked-up. She really looks so very old. But she loves it and likes watching the team practice too, so I hope the excitement continues.

Not to be outdone, Addie wanted to take swim too. Thankfully they have a pee wee class at the same time as Em’s so I enrolled Addie. Now, I don’t know if you recall the horrors we went through with little Miss Stubborn two summers ago when I decided she MUST learn how to swim, but I was skeptical about signing her up. But I did, and holy cow! The girl has turned into a fish. The first night her coach said, “we may have to move her up to the dolphins.” Something has clearly clicked in that girl with the swimming (and thankfully the reading, too!).

So these photos were actually taken on our very sunny weekend getaway. Their classes are 6-6:30 at night and I know you won’t believe it…but it is chilly at the outdoor pool they practice at. Like low 60s.

I know, I know! We won’t get much sympathy from you all in the east, but when there is steam coming off of the pool and I have a sweater and jacket on, it just seems a bit chilly to be swimming. But they love it, so I’m going with it.

So I guess that is where we have been? At the pool. And at school. And just trying to stay cool. (Sorry. Been helping Addie with that rhyming, reading thing again!)