Category Archives: Parenting

R.I.P. Tuck the Turtle

Posted on by
Reply

Under a tree in our backyard lies our beloved Tuck the Turtle. In our house lies a sad little girl who can’t figure out how the animals actually get to heaven – and I have no idea how to explain it to her.

When we returned home last night I thought Tuck looked a little, um…”stiffer” than usual. But I changed his water and hoped for the best – he has pulled that trick before and I thought maybe he really was just sleeping. When we got up this morning and Emma tried to convince me that he was in fact sleeping, I knew that poor little Tuck was gone.

So I proceeded to tell her that he had died and was up in heaven with other pets like Nana & Papa’s puppy, Brandie. We had a similar discussion a few months ago when Brandie had died. She nodded very solemnly and said, “Yeah, Tuck got dead.” And she continued on her morning. I thought I had gotten off easy, she really didn’t seem too upset over it.

So I wrapped Tuck up and put him into the garbage. And about 10 minutes later Emma came out and asked where he was.

Me: “Uh, um….he is up in heaven, remember?”
Em: “Yeah, but where is his cage?”
Me: “Well, I put him aside and we will go out and bury him during Addie’s nap. That way Jesus can come take him up to heaven. (Yes, totally pulling that out of my you-know-what! I just didn’t want her to see that I had tossed him in the trash, so I had to go back and dig him out!)

Again, she was pacified and seemed ok about it all.

Then we had the actual Turtle funeral. I took a spoon outside, dug a little hole, said a few words about Tuck and buried him. Emma picked out the tree to bury him under and chose a nice big one in the middle of the lawn because it was in a very sunny spot and “Tuck liked to sit in the sun in our kitchen”.

Then we were just kind of sitting there – enjoying the sun, thawing out a little from our wintery wonderland vacation and Emma says -

Em: “How many seconds does it take?”
Me: “Does what take?”
Em: “How many seconds until Jesus comes to take Tuck?”
Me: (Ack!) “Um, well. Jesus is kind of like Santa…(I know, blasphemy! I don’t think God will strike me down for the comparison, though. I mean, really how do you explain this to a 3-year old!!)…he is magic. We don’t know when he’ll come down, but he will.
Em: “I miss Tuck, Mama.”
Me: “I know, Em.”

Meanwhile, my heart is breaking for her. Not really about Tuck so much – she seems to be doing pretty well with the whole thing, or maybe she is just kind of oblivious and doesn’t understand it all. But I just got very emotional and sad thinking of the many times she is going to miss someone, or lose someone and there isn’t anything I can do about it, and nothing I can do to take her hurt away.

That breaks my heart. That realization that no matter how hard you try you just can’t protect your children from everything.

Movies, Candy and All Things Good.

Posted on by
Reply

So, here’s a tip: Dora the Explorer, lollipops, and M&Ms are all Mommy’s best friends on a cross-country plane ride and 2-hour car trip.

I never thought I would bribe my children with candy or some sort of electronic viewing pleasure….until I attempted to travel by myself with a 3 1/2 year old and a (nearly) 16-month old, waking them up from their nice, warm beds at 4:30am, making it to the airport and barely getting all of our baggage onto a plane by 6:25am, flying from Los Angeles to Chicago, refereeing a minor lunchtime meltdown and fight over a stroller at Midway airport, and then sitting on a tarmac for 45 minutes…waiting to take the 32 minute flight to Detroit.  That is about the point I pulled out the M&Ms.

Yes, we are interested – we have even stopped screaming long enough to shove some sweet, sweet chocolate into our mouths.

And, thankfully, at this point we have taken off and reached the magical altitude when you can turn on approved electronic devices. So the laptop came out and both girls settled into a sugar-induced, Dora coma.  Addie even let herself fall asleep.

Success! Ah, Dora – Gracias from the bottom of mi corazon! I may not be winning any mother-of-the-year awards with my tactics, but it sure was a peaceful 29 minutes.

Already a bit behind in the resolution department

Posted on by
Reply

I have been meaning to put up my resolutions for the past few days – one of them was to become more organized and efficient with my time, thus giving me more time to blog, scrapbook and do fun stuff with the girls. Ha! Obviously I have not managed to be very successful with that one these first three days of the New Year.

Of course I have the requisite, lose 15 pounds, eat healthier, get the girls to eat healthier, work out more resolution, too. These I really don’t seem to be having too much of a problem with lately. The gym, and the wonderful “kids klub” have totally been saving my sanity. I’ve gotten some quality workouts in lately, and managed to eat my way through the holidays and even lose weight! So, I think that I can’t, or won’t, count that as a real resolution.

My REAL resolution, the one thing I’m going to work on the hardest is becoming a more “mindful” mommy. I am constantly reminded how quickly life is just passing me by. Every day goes by more quickly than the last, and the girls are determined to leave their babyhood in the dust, whether I like it or not. I just feel like I can’t keep up, and I want to just freeze so many moments. But instead I find myself feverishly trying to get work done in time for a deadline or clean a house, that is really only going to be messy in a few hours, anyhow.

It isn’t until I am sitting enjoying a quiet moment with the girls – or more than likely, a not so quiet moment – or listening to them really truly laugh when I realize this is what I need the most in my life. To live more of those moments, hold on to more of those moments and let go of some of the “dirty laundry” that fills my days.

What about you? Any good resolutions? Any broken ones already?

We must be doing something (kinda) right…

Posted on by
Reply

In this very commercialized-Christmas kind of world, how do you teach your children what Christmas is all about? I’m sure we’re not alone in this dilemma, but I’ve been particularly worried about it this year – Emma is old enough to start learning this kind of stuff, right?

So we’ve been working on giving, not only receiving. Making crafts for our loved ones. Making cookies for all of our friends and neighbors. And we’ve talked a lot about the real reason Christmas celebrations were started. And on some level, I thought it was all sinking in. And it has been really fun sharing these little traditions with the girls. (I know Addie doesn’t really have a clue, but she sure does love to help with the baking parts!)

Until this week. All Emma can think or talk about is the stupid Butterscotch pony at Target that “Santa is going to bring me.”

Me: “But Butterscotch lives at Target, there isn’t room for a pony here at our house! I’m not sure Santa would take Butterscotch out of Target if that is where he lives.

E: “It’s ok, Mommy. Butterscotch can live in our living room by the Christmas tree. Santa will bring it to me.

Needless to say, I’ve been feeling a little defeated the past few days. She is obsessed about it. And it is disheartening – especially because I know she is going to be very disappointed on Christmas morning. (BUT, Santa will NOT be bringing a Butterscotch, no matter how disappointed she is. The pony is quite dumb…takes up a lot of room…and costs $249! For a stuffed animal that neighs! I don’t think so.)

So…yeah, I’ve been thinking that maybe the whole Christmas idea was a little lost on her. Maybe she is too young. Maybe next year.

And then there was this afternoon. Somewhere along the line, through all of the talking we’ve done, the books we’ve read, or the DVDs we have watched, Emma learned the real “Christmas Story” and did a pretty good (and funny) job of re-enacting it for me. This is how it went…

Emma was “riding” on one of her stuffed bears into the hallway, with her blanket over her head and another bear tucked up into her shirt.

E: “Bye, Mom! I’m going to Bethlehem.”

M: “Oh, why are you going to Bethlehem?”

E: “Because I am Mary and I’m riding my donkey to have a Baby Jesus be born.”

M: “Oh, how do you know that it is a Baby Jesus?” (I asked this because we have also been talking about Aunt Meesh’s new baby-to-be, and we don’t know if it is a baby girl or a baby boy, yet.)

E: “Because the Angel came and told me that it has to be a Baby Jesus.”

(Fair Enough! I’m slightly excited at this point…something is sinking in!)

M: “Ok, then. Let me know how that goes.”

Then she turns around, lifts up her shirt and the bear pops out and falls to the ground.

E: “Mom! I had a Baby Jesus! We need to wrap him in waddling clothes!”

So we did – well, not “waddling clothes” but an old blanket.

E: “Okay I have to go put him in the hay so the kings can come see him.”

And off she went with Baby Jesus. My little Virgin Emma.

Then, later in the day Baby Jesus became Toto, because she was then playing the role of Dorothy. I made the mistake of telling her to pick up Baby Jesus and she said,

“Mom! That is Toto, my puppy!”

But I at least feel a little vindicated that she knows there is more to Christmas than just Santa.

Why, why, why.

Posted on by
Reply

That seems to be the only word our little precocious three (and a half!) year old knows these days.

I couldn’t resist this shirt when I found it because it is all I have heard for the last year.

Why, why, why.

God love her, but I have to be really careful in what I say – because she will remember EVERYTHING and repeat it at a later date! I think I have written about her crazy good memory before (it is by far ten times better than mine), but it continues to astound me. She is a freakin’ sponge. I keep thinking sooner or later she is going to become saturated, right? She’ll maybe start to either forget some things or just not be able to absorb any more….but it doesn’t seem to be happening.

Most of her questions lately revolve around Christmas.
“Why do the ladies have to stand and ring-ring the little bell?”
“Why do they want people to put moneys in the bucket?”
“Why do they help those people?”
“Why are they poor?”
“Why won’t Santa just bring those peoples presents?”
“Why doesn’t Joseph ride on his own donkey?”
“Why don’t they go to the hospital to have their baby?”

And on, and on….pretty much anything she sees, she has a question about.

I do love her curiosity. It is one of the truly great perks of parenting, just to be able to witness that excitement for learning on a daily basis. But it worries me that I still haven’t found a good class or preschool for her. I mean, am I really enough for her everyday? And on my “off” days when I don’t act like I expect her to act, how can I teach her to “do as I say, not as I do?” I’m sure it is (well, I hope it is – I can’t be alone here!) one of the great parenting dilemmas. I just can’t help but imagine what she would soak up with if she was in a learning environment and exposed to other people.

The “finding a school” task has been officially moved to the top of my list. Um…and also, stop acting like I don’t want her to act. That is probably pretty important, too.

—————–

Don’t forget you have til midnite tomorrow (PST) to get your Elmo story in…we will pick the winner on Saturday – and have plenty of time to get Elmo to his new owner in time for Christmas. I’ll share our “funny” Christmas story tomorrow….

Needed: Christmas Spirit – Please Apply Within

Posted on by
Reply

I should state as a precursor to this post, I ADORE where we live. I really love our place, would in fact want to buy it – if we were given the opportunity. I really love our neighborhood, even in the crazy preparation for the Rose Bowl parade which literally marches through our front yard, it is an amazing part of Pasadena. I am even kinda (not totally, yet) in love with LA. And those of you who know me, also know that LA was never on my list of “hot spot places to live.” So that is a pretty big statement right there.

But, as we were sitting outside at lunch today, (yes, outside – it is December 5th and it was at least 70 degrees) and I have to admit it was pretty nice, I realized it is inconceivable that Christmas is only 20 days away! Maybe I really do need chilly days, snow-threatening clouds, even an occasional snow flurry for it to really feel like Christmas.

Then again, I think part of the problem is I am really missing our family and friends. This past weekend my Mom was hospitalized and it is really, really hard to not be able to hop in the truck and be there in a few hours. I know J. and I knew what we were getting into, and I know in my heart that we made the right decision for our “little” family by moving out here, but it is very hard to be so far away sometimes.

Plus, Christmas is about playing in the snow with the nieces and nephews or all of the neighborhood kids; going to visit the mall Santa with our friends Kim and Lauren and attempting (sometimes for days!) to take our “Christmas Card” picture; going to midnight mass in our tiny, country church with my parents and walking out to a blanket of snow afterwards. Those are the things I am really missing right now.

My mission this week, now that we are healthy and well again, is to find my Christmas spirit. Not just “retail” spirit, but that really fun Christmas feeling. I do realize that this is going to be an amazing Christmas with the girls – I mean they are really able to understand what is going on, what it is all about. I guess I just need to kick my butt spirit into gear, so I can enjoy it with them.

Any suggestions or help in doing so are always welcome!