I can’t lie.
The first week of school has been a bit rough.
We were all so excited and couldn’t wait for school to start. Remember just a mere week ago – all dressed up in our new clothes with our shiny, new backpacks and lunchboxes, sitting on the steps, counting down the minutes til it was finally time to go to school?
Every single morning since that first morning, has been a constant battle. A struggle. Addie does not want to go to school. The pleading started when I was putting her to bed last Wednesday. “I don’t wanna go to school tomorrow, Mama.”
And it continues every morning. “Do I have to go to school today?” “Can you stay at school with me?” “Can it be a short day at school today?”
“I just don’t wanna go to school.”
It’s breaking my heart. More so than the thought of initially sending her off to school did. Her teacher suggested that maybe it was just too fun at home with Mama? Ha. She also said that once she gets to school, after she goes in and sits on the rug, she is fine. She is quiet, but there is no crying.
Quiet? Addison?!
So we are struggling a little bit with kindergarten, which is a very new challenge for us that we never faced with Emma Grace. A few more weeks and I think we will all have it figured out. Plus next week (on Ad’s birthday!) I’m going to start volunteering in her classroom, so I am hoping that will help – not hinder – our little problem.
Emma, of course, loves her class. Loves her teacher. Loves to go to school. So thankfully we don’t have any issues there.
We have however been having some serious ATTITUDE problems around here the last few weeks with both girls. Some of it is just getting back into a routine, and getting used to the long days again (or getting used to long days period in Addie’s case), but some of it was due to our very lax discipline around here all summer long, too.
So we had a family meeting over the weekend and instituted a chore chart with a poker chip reward system. (And also we made a weekly menu so that I don’t have to start the day off hearing, “I don’t want that in my lunch!” or “I don’t know what I want for breakfast.” They helped make the menu, so no complaints! I’ll update more on this when we see how it is working.)
But the chore/behavior chart with poker chip reward system? It is genius. I wish I could take credit for it, but I read about a similar tactic that Swistle was implementing and kind of stole her idea and adapted it to our situation.
The girls get a white chip for every chore they complete. I have listed five that I expect them to do every day, and then have a separate list of extra chores they can help me with like unloading the dishwasher, folding laundry or scooping cat poop if they want to get extra chips. They can also get a white chip for great manners, being kind to their sister – really whenever we see something good happening that we want to encourage.
Once they get five white chips, they can turn it in for a blue chip. One blue chip can be turned in for 1/2 hour of tv or 1/2 hour of computer time.
Aha! There it is. What motivates my girls? TV and computer time.
But, I’m telling you – whatever works. And it is working! And the threat of taking their chips away…that is priceless. I’m not sure how long this is going to last, but we’ll see.
Now how can I work this chip system in and bribe Addie into liking school?
What’s going on with Addie is precisely what I dealt with all last year with Bryce and preschool. I feel for you. It’s so hard, on mom and child alike. So big hugs in lieu of good advice, of which I have none.
I really like the chore chart idea. I need to implement something like that around here with Bryce. He’s actually very helpful around the house and I’d like to tie that in to an allowance of sorts so we can start teaching him about saving money, spending money, etc. Do you think 5 is too young for that? Do you all do allowances?
Uh, I was writing almost that exact same thing last year, remember? And V is doing great this year. So far. Hang in there, it is SOOOO tough. I know that the hardest part is walking away from the school feeling yuck.
I use a jar reward system too and sometimes it works, sometimes not. I couldn’t bribe V into liking school. She loved her teacher just couldn’t get through drop off. I still have no idea why it was so hard kinder year except that the whole thing could be just a huge adjustment. You could offer a chip if she makes it through getting ready and drop off with no fussing. I think it’s completely developmental and she’ll grow and work through it. Don’t know how long it will take so stay strong! Hugs to you.
I am defintitely stealing this idea. We have tried a couple of different methods and nothing seems to work. Harper had a hard time with Kindergarten the first part of the year too. She went to daycare full time and loved it so I didn’t think it would be a big deal. It takes awhile to get used to a new teacher, new friends, and new rules. Plus they expect a lot of them. The second part of the year was much better for all of us. I know it is an awful feeling so hang in there. I am sure she will love seeing you in the classroom.
Poor Addie…and poor you! I am sure she will get over it and start loving school, but hopefully that starts sooner rather than later! No great advice from me, but crossing my fingers and praying that things turn around for you soon!
Also — love the chore charts…and glad to hear that they are working well!
I think the chore chart is a great idea. Change is tough for all of us.
The chore chart is a great idea- and so is rewarding with something they really really want
Have you asked Addie what she doesn’t like about school or tried pointing out how much fun Emma has? Good luck!!!
Awww.
( That just makes me want to cry for poor little Addie, and her mama too!! That is HARD! I hope it doesn’t take too long for her to settle in!!
But the chores chart/reward system is inspired! Keep us posted on how that, and the menu, work!
Maybe after a chat about why school is important and why Addie must go to school, you could talk to her about why she thinks she doesn’t want to go. Sometimes it is just the moment of separation is too much to bear! So maybe when you talk you could share that it makes it so much harder on both of you when she gets upset and says she doesn’t want to go. And maybe some of it is because she misses her alone time with mommy. So you could put together a chart of a different sort that records the days she goes along and does what she needs too….after so many days of following this plan, she earns MOMMY TIME. (or daddy time) Just MOMMY and ADDIE for 30 minutes doing her choice of activity!!!
And she could give you a sign (tug her ear or wiggle her fingers) as a way to say, “I’m going to miss you….or whatever sentiments she usually mentions. And you have a signal back that says, “I know – but YOU CAN do this! Then it is a fun way to say it without any whining….it’ll be a game kind of.
The poker chip reward system is genius. Hoping that this week is a bit better for you all!